At the end of June, a young American mother described her maternal burnout in a moving Facebook post accompanied by a photo showing dishes piling up in her kitchen. His publication was widely relayed on the web, many Internet users identified with his testimony.
“This is what depression looks like.” On Facebook, Brittany Ernsperger, a 25-year-old American mother, described with great transparency her maternal burnout. And it seems that his message found an echo with many people since two weeks after its publication on June 30, it had been shared by 207,000 Internet users and commented more than 800 times.
In her message, the young woman describes her discomfort in detail. “Three days ago I was sitting on the kitchen floor and staring at the stack of dishes crying. I knew I had to do it. I really wanted to do it. But depression pulled me back. down. She sucked me in. Like a black hole, “she begins. “Worthless. None. Incompetent. Stupid. Lazy. That’s what goes through the mind of someone with depression. All day long,” she continued, describing the guilt procrastination triggered in her.
“Being afraid that your husband will leave you because he thinks you are lazy. Being afraid of letting people into your home because they will think you are dirty. is the third night in a row that you don’t have a plate to put the meal on so we order pizzas. Again, “wrote Brittany, explaining that everything else,” laundry, cleaning, getting dressed, taking a showering, dressing children, washing their teeth, all the little everyday tasks become a nightmare “. And to conclude: “Depression is something that ‘strong’ people don’t talk about because they don’t want to be thought of as ‘weak’. You are not weak. You have been strong for it. so long and been through so much that your body needs a break (…). I don’t care that the only thing you did today is put on deodorant. I’m proud of you for that. Well done. I’m on your side. “
Depression today affects 300,000 million people worldwide
If by publishing this post, the young woman assured not to “seek sympathy” on the part of Internet users, she must have been the first surprise by the scale of the responses. Indeed, her testimony was commented on by hundreds of women thanking her for having broken the omerta around depression and more specifically maternal burn-out.
“I know that feeling. I have dishes in my sink there, I usually leave them for several days, wash half of them, and leave the rest. I’ve been battling depression for much of my life… now I have thyroid problems in addition. I gained 68 kgs since I was 20 years old and I feel that I cannot motivate myself to do more. But I am working on my spirituality and I have already progressed a lot since my divorce five years ago, “commented a user. “This photo and this story is amazing but unfortunately nothing can really convey depression except having experienced it yourself and I don’t wish that on anyone,” wrote another.
In 2015, depression affected more than 300 million people worldwide, 18% more than ten years earlier, according to the World Health Organization. But if, due to its increase, the disease is much less taboo than before, maternal burnout is a subject that is still too little talked about. Especially since the first symptoms (intense fatigue and the feeling of always being overwhelmed) are most often ignored by the mother herself. Then, over the days, months, the stress invades her more and more, she literally feels drained and begins to experience fewer positive emotions for her child and to detach herself from him.
“The working girl is no longer the ambient model. The expectations of women in terms of employment are declining (women still have neither the responsibilities nor the salaries of men), and this is why the idea that motherhood is the only area in which women can to accomplish fully, without the slightest qualification, came back “, explained the psychologist Maryse Vaillant last year to the site Psychologies.com. Also, to be able to move forward, the specialist recommends agreeing to mourn the loss of the ideal mother. “Of course, there will still be exceptional moments to live, but they will not bring back the wonder, the dream of an ideal motherhood. This test of reality, every woman experiences when she becomes a mother, and must do with it for life, ”she concluded, calling on those around young mothers to support them as much as possible.
Today, even if Brittany Ernsperger does not give details about her husband and relatives in her post, it seems that the support of netizens has reinvigorated her to a minimum. “I didn’t expect so much love. Girls, if you feel like this ask me as a friend on Facebook. I will do my best to help you or for you to get help,” wrote the young woman on the social network after seeing the enthusiasm caused by her post. And to conclude with a message of hope: “We will get through this together. We can only help each other by pulling ourselves up. I am here for you”.
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