Conflict, an integral part of a couple
According to many sociologists and psychologists, conflicts within a couple are normal and can even be beneficial. Indeed, a conflict is the sign that our couple is alive, dynamic and not static. Identify oneself by differentiating oneself, in a way, because to be aware of existing, of being, you need another to oppose. In some cases, the confrontation has to come to fruition. In short, the conflict would be a constructive way of communicating while the desire to silence any discussion would create an unhealthy atmosphere. But conflict must not become the rule!
Why are we arguing?
Arguing is almost inevitable in a two-person life. Learning to divide tasks, to manage two careers, to practice different hobbies, to raise children … is to learn to accept tastes, priorities and ideas that are not always identical. Not to mention that a man and a woman do not always speak the same language.
When the conflict gets out of hand
It is neither the fact of having arguments, nor their number, nor their areas that predict the failure of a couple. Rather, it is the negative way of reacting to conflicts that can prove to be harmful. The escalation of negativity leads to typical behaviors and heralds of irremediable problems: criticism, contempt, defense or silence.
Learn to master conflicts
To avoid this, learn to deal with conflict. The key to success: open and immediate dialogue. Well-managed quarrels empower us and can challenge our values and motivations in a healthy way. Finally, keep in mind that you are not in court, with a loser and a winner!
Here are some rules, certainly basic, but essential to help you in your life together:
– Do not try to transform the other
– Do not idealize the life of a couple
– Don’t be afraid to speak up (we didn’t say yell and blame!)
– Do not fear conflict
– Listening to the other
– Be aware that love for the other is not acquired forever
– Do not let the unspoken settle
– Knowing how to question yourself
– Learn to forgive
