The shy child needs to be secure in order to have sufficient self-confidence.
- A shy child most often suffers from a lack of self-confidence.
- Shyness can start as early as 3 years old.
- For parents, it is necessary to encourage and reward efforts but to avoid overprotecting the child.
From the age of 3, when the child begins to become aware of his image and the gaze of others, he may develop shyness. He does not feel comfortable in public, does not manage to play easily with children of his age or remains glued to his parent, for example.
What behavior to adopt vis-à-vis a shy child?
A shy child often suffers from a lack of self-confidence and insecurity, especially with regard to novelty. It is therefore essential to guide his behavior to help him strengthen his self-esteem by valuing him for his qualities and his achievements.
Do not hesitate to praise him for his efforts, even the smallest ones, by showing him that you are proud of him and encouraging him to set realistic goals and to achieve them so that he strengthens his confidence in his abilities.
You can also help him by encouraging him to step out of his comfort zone gradually, for example with one-on-one activities with close friends or family and then gradually widening his social circle through group activities. Regularly offer to meet other people, while respecting their limits and pace.
Showing patience and understanding will allow him to open up when he feels uncomfortable and to feel supported whenever he is faced with a new social interaction.
Which are the errors to avoid ?
The shy child cannot confront his fear too brutally. It is therefore necessary to strive not to put him in a situation that makes him uncomfortable for too long or too quickly. You must keep a gradual approach adapted to his abilities in each situation.
Another mistake to avoid is to overprotect it. While it’s understandable to have concerns for their well-being, overprotectiveness can prevent them from developing their social skills and independence. Instead, encourage him to take initiative and solve some problems on his own.
Finally, don’t stigmatize him by constantly calling him “shy”. This term can create a negative label that limits his self-esteem. Instead, focus on their strengths and progress by highlighting their successes and encouraging them to express their opinions.
Find out more: “Shyness” by Catherine Dolto and Colline Faure-Poirée.